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《英語散文》My Wood

In the third place, property makes its owner feel that he ought to do something to it. Yet he isn't sure what . A restlessness comes over him, a vague sense that he had a personality to express ---- the same sense which, without any vagueness, leads the artist to an act of creation. Sometimes I think I will cut down such trees as remain in the wood, at other times I want to fill up the gaps between them with new trees. Both impulses are pretentious and empty. They are not honest movements towards money-making or beauty. They spring from a foolish desire to express myself and from an inability to enjoy what I have got. Creation, property, enjoyment form a sinister trinity in the human mind. Creation and enjoyment are both very, very good, yet they are often unattainable without a material basis, and at such moments property pushes itself in as a substitute, saying, "Accept me instead ---- I'm good enough for all three." It is not enough. It is, as Shakespeare said of lust, "The expense of spirit in a waste of shame": it is "Before, a joy proposed; behind, a dream." Yet we don't know how to shun it. It is forced on us by our economic system as the alternative to starvation. It is also forced on us by an internal defect in the soul, by the feeling that in property may lie the germs of self-development and of exquisite or heroic deeds. Our life on earth is, and ought to be, material and carnal. But we have not yet learned to manage our materialism and carnality properlyl they are still entangled with the desire for ownership, where (in the words of Dante) "Possession is one with loss". And this brings us to our fourth and final point: the blackberries. Blackberries are not plentiful in this meagre grove, but they are easily seen from the public footpath which traverses it, and all too easily gathered. Foxgloves, too ---- people will pull up the foxgloves, and ladies of an educational tendency even grub for toadstools to show them on the Monday in ClaSs. Other ladies, less educated, roll down the bracken in the arms of their gentleman friends. There is paper, there are tins. Pray, does not own it best by allowing no one else to walk there? There is a wood near Lyme Regis, also cursed by a public footpath, high stone walls each side of the path, and has spanned it by bridges, so that the public circulate like termites while he gorges on the blackberries unseen. He really does own his wood, this able chap. Dives in Hell did pretty well, but the gulf dividing hem from Lazarus could be traversed by vision, and nothing traverses it here. And perhaps I shall come to this in time. I shall wall in and fence out until I really taste the sweets of property. Enormously stout, endlessly avaricious, pseudo-creative, intensely selfish, I shall weave upon my foreshies come and take it off again and thrust me aside into the outer darkness.

2頁,當前第212

※本文作者:佚名※

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